Disappointment

Well, we have another snow day today. Yesterday I was wearing shorts in 60 degree weather, and this morning the world was covered with a couple of inches of cold, white crystals. After sleepily powering up my computer at 8:00 and checking to see that I in fact did not have classes today, I allowed myself to sleep a couple of more hours. And now I have the rest of the day to watch the snow fall, almost horizontally, and do some of the work I told myself I was going to do over the weekend.

Ironically, in my failure to do many things I was planning on doing over the weekend, I spent a lot of time thinking about disappointment. The past week was really good. I was really productive with the time I spent doing work, and got a lot done, but also had time to let myself relax and sleep without having things hanging over my head. But even in this state of satisfaction, there were minor shortcomings that, because I was otherwise in such a good mood, were all the more frustrating. Thursday afternoon, for example, I didn’t get anything done, after being really productive the first three days of the week, leaving me to stay up late yet again to finish a lab report due on Friday afternoon. Whenever I have a day like that, I get really upset with myself for not being able to just sit down and focus to do something productive.

Then on Friday, I just kept forgetting things. On my way to chem lab, I realized I had done something that I am always scared of doing, completely forgetting about something important. At 1:50, I remembered that I was supposed to have had an interview for marching band leadership at 11:40 that morning. Besides telling me for it to not happen again, the directors weren’t all that upset with me, so I think I made it a much bigger deal to myself than it actually was. I was pretty bothered with myself. After chem lab, I went to a marching band “spring training” for the high brass (trumpets and horns/mellophones). It wasn’t particularly helpful for me, because we spent most of the time discussing how to play higher better and stronger, which I already know, but it didn’t help that I was playing on a mouthpiece I’ve never used before. Despite my mental notes to myself, I completely forgot to bring my horn mouthpiece and adaptor from my dorm room to the band building, and didn’t have time to go get it, so I was stuck on a mellophone mouthpiece. Most of the mellophones, even the original horn players, in marching band use it, but after playing only a horn mouthpiece for so long, it feels way to fat and uncomfortable to play on.

Saturday was pretty good, but yesterday was full of disappointments again. I set an alarm for 9:45 so that I could go to church, but for whatever reason it didn’t actually wake me up until 10:30 (I guess it just went off for 45 minutes without my noticing), making it too late for me to make a church service (not counting breakfast, it’s taking me consistently 40ish minutes to get there). And then the rest of the day was much like Thursday, and I finally really started on my chemistry problem set, which was supposed to be due today, at about 11:00 PM. It took me longer than I expected, so I was up pretty late again, but on the bright side I have a much better understanding of the material (we have a test on Wednesday) than I did. So that’s good.

Now that I’m finished with this, I’m going to move on to something else, hopefully that’s productive. I have laundry to fold, notes to copy (I recopy my notes from class to review and so that I can actually read them when I’m studying), and several other school-related things I can do. Hopefully it will be another good start to a productive week. I’m also going to just stretch for a little bit. I’m a little bit sore from swimming last night.

Advertisements
Comments are closed.